when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
