If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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