It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
smell my finger.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
