paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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