im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
