and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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