Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
