K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
