I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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