did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize