it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
