I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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