If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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