whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
