Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
