Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
