I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
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I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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