Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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