Walk of Shame. In a state park.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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