oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I bet he comes in French.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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