Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
