We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
