hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
