I wanna bring you to show and tell
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My bed smells like the plague
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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