the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize