It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
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Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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