just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
