If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
