will power is for people who don't want to get laid
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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