she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
