I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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