Your face is a jimmy john
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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