Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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