i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Green mimosas i think yes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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