I met the friendliest cop last night
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
