I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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