now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
