The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My ATM looks so different sober.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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