dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
