found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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