I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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