Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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