Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
