just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
