Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
