I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
