ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize