can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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