He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
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Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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