i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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