i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
