dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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