their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
