this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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