Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All the doctor said was why
Randomize