i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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