I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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