We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
