Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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