What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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