Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
